Things I learned today (or, why some folks will never ever give me room to exist)

Content warning, in general.

  • If I want my pronouns to be taken seriously, I must explain, in detail, the FULL LIST of ALL non-traditional pronouns and what they mean (aside from being pronouns, apparently; there is some arcane meaning I am supposed to divine and explain). Otherwise I am obviously just a lying liar who makes things up.
  • My asking politely for people to respect my pronouns is, in fact, the very same thing as verbally attacking them, and I should feel ashamed for wanting room to exist, because at some point I may have made a cis person feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.
  • My asking politely for a trigger warning on potentially triggering topics is exactly the same thing as wanting to ban all talk of rape or any other “naughty” topic. In fact, discussion is tantamount to oppression. My asking for a trigger warning is silencing people
  • Also, if I wish to expect people to respect triggers by posting warnings, I need to create a list of all potential triggers, ever, as well as a list of things that trigger everybody. Otherwise I am just a lying liar who makes things up and wants the world to walk on eggshells to please me.
  • Google is too difficult to use for most people; therefore the onus is on me to provide every bit of education, or I’m just a lying liar who’s asking for special treatment. I am the prophet through whom the search engines spoke to the Privileged, for their hands were too soft to do the hard typing.
  • Words that are easy to parse from context but do not appear in the dictionary aren’t “proper” words, and my use of them warrants mocking me for politely asking people not to mispronoun me. Also, apparently no word ever in the English language has used the prefix mis-. EVER.
  • In order to have my individual non-binary gendered experience and identity respected, I must catalog every single trans* and non-binary experience and identity ever and present it in palatable, easy to read form, or I am just being a “social justice warrior” who likes to pick fights with the poor privileged folk who really are just asking things in good faith.
  • When privileged people repeatedly show bad faith and go on the offensive, I am a terrible person for not assuming that they are acting in good faith despite their past behavior. Also, if I respond to their shitty posts in kind, then I am posting in bad faith and attacking them, but they are still widdle perfect angels.
  • I must never ever doubt someone else’s commitment to and work in social justice, even if (or especially if!) they are the source of every single bullet point rant here. OBVIOUSLY I’m just being unreasonable and they are The One TWUE Feminist (to rule them all)! ALLOW ME TO HANG MY HEAD IN SHAME.

In other (related) news, I am really sick and tired of “social justice warriors” getting scapegoated for any breakdowns in communication.

-M

3 Comments


  1. You state things so articulately and this whole post is great. Thank you.

    Reply

  2. Yes.

    I was particularly pissed off by the assumption that we exist to educate other people. As I think I demonstrated in my unhappy response to someone there.

    Reply

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