I don’t know. There was a big post I wanted to do about my Oma and my mom and my aunt and how suicide/suicidal ideation/suicide attempts runs in our family, at least on the female/FAAB side, and how Oma would have appreciated that her birthday is also World Suicide Prevention Day, and how Mom and I shared a laugh over it, because we share the same sense of gallows humour.
But it turned out that I couldn’t write any of that; not the way I wanted to write about it. What I thought would make a meaningful blog post is better relegated to a short anecdote.
Instead, I’m going to share this song with you. I was listening to it yesterday kinda on repeat and…it spoke to me of hope. (I started listening to it on repeat because it was on this playlist, which I found appropriate to listen to on my Oma’s Ancestor Day.) And it’s now on my Songs of the Gods playlist on Youtube
, which if I’m going to be honest is really just a lot of Florence + the Machine. Hope, in the face of wanting to die, or thinking you do — yes. That’s of the gods, for me.
(The video is pretty cool too, but unrelated to the message that I got from the song. I think. I don’t know. I haven’t seen Snow White and the Huntsman yet. Maybe it’s totally related.)
I’ll see you tomorrow.