This was a Facebook rant.

Then I decided to post it here, for various reasons. 

Pro-tip: saying you’re good at avoiding drama or have a drama-free life? Basically signals to EVERYONE that you, in fact, are a drama-starter and are basically steeped in drama all the time.

It’s impossible to have a drama-free life; we’re human. Drama is what we do. There’s a difference between normal drama among humans and playing small-p politics, which is what happens in a lot of subcultures and local communities (pagan, kinkster, poly, geek, writer…the list goes on). People use drama to play politics with each other, and that’s when it turns into what people usually see as “drama”.

Fact is, you’re going to have emotional upsets and fights and disagreements with people you care about and this is drama because it’s basically the same sort of interpersonal stuff that keeps plays and TV shows and movies going. Drama happens; it’s not necessarily good or bad.

Small-p community politics? Different thing. Feeds off drama and creates a shitstorm that then gets labeled, wholesale, as drama.

And the people who say they’re drama-free? Are the WORST instigators of that small-p politics shit. The WORST.

So do us all a favour: quit fucking lying. You’re insulting our intelligence.

2 Comments


  1. I disagree entirely, but I think a lot of that stems from how you’re defining drama, which is not how I usually see it defined.

    The day to day clashes and disagreements that come up from different moods, opinions, needs? That’s life.

    Drama- in life and on television- is fueled by a lack of healthy communication, a lack of awareness of one’s own needs and boundaries and those of others AND a willful disinterest in learning about them, and often a pervasive restlessness and boredom that ‘nothing ever happens around here’ and ‘let’s make things interesting.’

    I consider myself a drama-free person. I do not put up with needless hysterics and I have very, very little patience for those prone to exaggeration or showing a constant need to be the center of attention. If someone’s behavior would make them a believable tv high school student, I keep my distance, because I can’t fucking be bothered. Finding the truth under the layers of glitter, glamour, and stage make-up is more work than its worth.

    Reply

    1. So, you seem to be taking my rant rather personally? And it’s not directed at you. It’s actually directed at someone in my local pagan community, who IS a big time instigator of small-p politics that cause/feed off drama and then proclaims that she’s drama free. As do pretty much ALL the “drama free” people in my local, meatspace life.

      But, anyway.

      Drama- in life and on television- is fueled by a lack of healthy communication, a lack of awareness of one’s own needs and boundaries and those of others AND a willful disinterest in learning about them, and often a pervasive restlessness and boredom that ‘nothing ever happens around here’ and ‘let’s make things interesting.’

      If that’s how you define what happens in ALL instances of TV or theatre or film entertainment, then I think you probably have a very low opinion of said entertainment and, extended from that, the actors who portray such people and the writers who create such situations.

      Drama on TV or the stage or big screen is fuelled by people being people. Sometimes yes, that involves what you describe, but often it just means people fuck up and then have to work around their fuck-ups. Art is a mirror held up to life. If you’re categorizing ALL theatre or cinema or TV forms within the same group as reality TV, then you’re basically saying that all humans must be held to an impossible standard of never fucking up in order to be likeable enough to watch on the screen or stage.

      The first definition of drama from an actual dictionary: A prose or verse composition, especially one telling a serious story, that is intended for representation by actors impersonating the characters and performing the dialogue and action.

      Some more definitions:

      The art or practice of writing or producing dramatic works.

      A situation or succession of events in real life having the dramatic progression or emotional effect characteristic of a play (which, I think, is where the term “drama” to refer to small-p politics in real life came about, originally)

      a situation or sequence of events that is highly emotional, tragic, or turbulent.

      The re-definition of “drama” as “people are being assholes and starting shit” is a HUGE problem because it leads to people dismissing “drama” as being a terrible thing (and, extended from that, actors/writers as being terrible people). Drama means a LOT of things, but it actually does NOT mean “people are assholes and they start shit”. That’s small-p politics. It happens, and yes it can cause dramatic sequences of events/turbulent emotions/etc and yes it often feeds off drama. But it’s not actually drama.

      Finding the truth under the layers of glitter, glamour, and stage make-up is more work than its worth.

      This kind of confirms to me that you have a low opinion of theatre and people who do it. Which is kind of a HUGE fucking trigger for me, so I’m sorry that a) it’s taken so long for me to respond and b) if I’m coming across as really incredibly angry. It’s taken me a while to calm down from your comment enough to even have the spoons to respond.
      The Spinner recently posted…This was a Facebook rant.My Profile

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