Sometimes I wish I was Catholic. Or, rather, I wish I had the same sort of vehicle for purging my negative emotions as confession. To be able to go to a respected elder and say “Forgive me, for I have sinned. I have allowed weakness to infect me. I have fallen lax in my spiritual duties. I have allowed confusion to take over my mind and cloud my vision, weakening my determination and ambition.”
And for hir to respond with “The Creator loves and blesses you, child. Use Hir strength to carry you onward and bring purpose to your actions.”
Or something similar.
I just feel really alone somedays, on this path. And that makes sense — it’s kind of me, dealing with this, by myself. The other people who might understand are far away from me. And while I can get in contact with them, it’s not the same sort of feeling I would have being able to go to a dedicated building to our shared spirituality, where I could talk to someone wise whose job is to offer advice and solace to the spiritual community.
A sin is an act against God. We are all expressions of that boundless love, of the Creator and Her energy. To act against one another in anger and hate, to act against ourselves, is a sin. And I’m desperately searching redemption.